Every child must enter IIT or die trying!!

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20 Jun 2009 00:40:24 IST
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20 Jun 2009 00:40:24 IST
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Every child must enter IIT or die trying!!
(I found this funny piece titled "Every child must enter IIT or die trying!!" on www.expressbuzz.com by Kaushik Vishwanath, read on......its hilarious!!!)
 
Dear Dr K,
 

I am a concerned mother, and like every concerned mother, I want my son to study in IIT after he graduates from school. He is seven-year-old and in class second now. What is ideally the earliest age to enroll him in IIT-JEE coaching classes?

 

— Laliita Jeevan

 

=================

 

Dear Laliita,

 

I am afraid that it might already be too late for your child. By the class second, most kids who are serious about getting into one of the IITs have already had three to four years of solid JEE coaching. With the recent introduction of pre-natal JEE coaching clinics, it has become possible for kids to prepare for the JEE before they are even born.

 

Still, if your child is to have any hope at all of getting into one of the IITs, it is absolutely essential that you begin his JEE coaching immediately. You must enrol him in a coaching institute that makes use of the time when he usually plays, sleeps, or undertakes any other pointless activity. If he wishes to catch up with those who have already begun their coaching, he will have to forego his sleep for the next 10 years or more.

 

There are some critics of such intensive coaching programmes, who believe that such packed schedules will rob a child of his or her childhood, and induce unnecessary and unhealthy stress in him or her. This argument is, of course, rubbish. Experts agree that the notion of having a ‘childhood’ is overrated, and this so-called ‘childhood’ will only be detrimental to the child’s chances at being admitted to an IIT. On the issue of stress, no one has said it better than famed JEE Coach Burgeon N Bess. This is a healthy routine for any child who has begun coaching early enough:

 

“Nowadays people are talking about stress. I am not referring to force per unit area. I am referring more to mental and physical strain. I am not referring to ratio of change in dimensions to original dimensions. People think that children are facing too much stress nowadays. They obviously cannot think very well because they are wrong. Where is the stress in a child's life? All he or she does is get up early in the morning, go to tuition, come back, go to school, come back, go to tuition, go to JEE Class, go home, do homework for two hours, then study for five hours, and then maybe catch a little snooze. Is this a stressful routine? I think not. There is ample time in this schedule for relaxation. This time should be used for hard work and studies. Children should be initiated early into the coffee habit so that they are able to stay awake until late at night. Weekends is for recreational activities such as casual differentiation and integration, and preparation for AIEEE. These habits will ensure a child's stress-free life.”

 

Only if your child gets into an IIT will his life be of any worth. If he is unable or unwilling to do so, you have failed as a parent. After all, all the world needs is more engineers (who give up engineering to do MBAs). Your child should pursue subjects like the pure sciences, or art, or music, only if your child is interested in pursuing failure. Everyone else simply has to enter IIT, or die trying.

 

Wishing you luck,

 

Yours questionably,

 

Dr K

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Comments (20)


Blazing goIITian

Joined: 21 Oct 2008 12:29:14 IST
Posts: 855
24 Jun 2009 18:38:04 IST
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nice one.

Hot goIITian

Joined: 31 May 2009 01:24:07 IST
Posts: 150
25 Jun 2009 09:42:56 IST
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EXCELLENT MOCKERY.

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 10 Apr 2009 12:36:21 IST
Posts: 466
25 Jun 2009 10:10:28 IST
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Amazing

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 5 May 2009 19:39:56 IST
Posts: 593
25 Jun 2009 12:59:56 IST
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just toooo good!! lol...

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 1 May 2009 12:36:23 IST
Posts: 3960
25 Jun 2009 15:41:56 IST
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too great...i wish i cud have given it 20 rates..

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 11 Nov 2008 16:03:27 IST
Posts: 509
25 Jun 2009 16:02:14 IST
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awesome dude........!!!

Cool goIITian

Joined: 23 Mar 2009 21:19:20 IST
Posts: 43
25 Jun 2009 21:56:28 IST
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superb man...!!!.."i'm not referring to force per unit area.." lol!!!!!

Scorching goIITian

Joined: 26 Aug 2007 14:29:13 IST
Posts: 264
26 Jun 2009 00:53:51 IST
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Superb

Forum Expert
Joined: 1 Jun 2009 21:22:32 IST
Posts: 78
26 Jun 2009 16:10:14 IST
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a sneak peak into the future.... 5 yr old cracks IIT JEE 2050, for which 70 lakh students appeared....battling to get into one of the 102 IITs...with the newest IIT being opened on the moon(called IIT Chandran)!!

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 28 May 2009 19:54:09 IST
Posts: 614
26 Jul 2009 13:25:50 IST
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band bajhadiya.pratna karti hu ki my parents dont see this article.............

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 29 Oct 2008 17:55:14 IST
Posts: 535
26 Jul 2009 14:00:03 IST
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fabulous....

New kid on the Block

Joined: 18 Jun 2009 11:50:34 IST
Posts: 6
26 Jul 2009 14:43:12 IST
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very true sarcastic remark,

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 5 Nov 2009 22:36:31 IST
Posts: 316
18 Feb 2010 01:43:35 IST
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Lol!! Awesome man!! Rofl.

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 5 Nov 2009 22:36:31 IST
Posts: 316
18 Feb 2010 01:44:11 IST
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Utter lolness.

New kid on the Block

Joined: 18 Feb 2010 10:11:19 IST
Posts: 21
18 Feb 2010 10:25:18 IST
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is anyone attending seminar for What are the different professional courses after Xth? You need to register at http://seminar.aakrati.com/

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 4 Apr 2009 11:17:18 IST
Posts: 2068
18 Feb 2010 11:26:05 IST
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gr888 one dude......................

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 6 Jun 2009 10:44:28 IST
Posts: 409
18 Feb 2010 11:40:49 IST
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ya very true....maybe that's what i see around me ......but i hate this type of thinking that if u want to be an iitian u shuld start its prep as early as possible ....well! the ideal tym is from 11th......yaar bachchon ko unka bachpan jeene do.......kahin esa na ho ke woh bade ho ke apne parents ko kosen ke unke bachpan ko iit ki padhai tale daba diya....let them be free! atleast till 10th

New kid on the Block

Joined: 18 Feb 2010 10:11:19 IST
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20 Feb 2010 10:47:24 IST
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Blazing goIITian

Joined: 14 Jul 2008 12:49:03 IST
Posts: 728
20 Feb 2010 17:04:51 IST
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mazzaaaa aaa gyaaaaaaaaaa........!!!!!!!supperb...!!!!hats off....!!!!

Cool goIITian

Joined: 25 Sep 2009 18:23:47 IST
Posts: 51
21 Feb 2010 08:14:46 IST
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awesum man awesum



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