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2+2=5
NugoRama
Blazing goIITian

Posted on
6 Jul 2009 20:02:39 IST
Posts: 5517
6 Jul 2009 20:02:39 IST
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2+2=5
nonacademic

We would be dealing with logics here...

Lets get familiar..

few examples of logics are :.

 

  1. The sky is blue, therefore you owe me twenty dollars.
  2. Cheese is good, therefore I am right.
  3. A lamprey is alive. You are also alive (hopefully), therefore you are a lamprey (hopefully).
  4. Wars are bad and the United States is in a war, therefore the United States is bad. 
  5. Attack the argument, not the person because an argument cannot fight back but a person definitely can.
  6. I think, therefore I am a Democrat.
  7. There are three types of jellyfish in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't (most).


And now....

     "2+2=5"

 

Mathematical Proofs

Given: 2 + 2 is a real number.

  1. Let 2 + 2 = 5.
  2. Therefore, 2 + 2 = 5. QED..

 

  1. Given that k = t
  2. I can prove E=mc2
  3. Let E be k
  4. And mc2 be t
  5. Since k=t, therefore, E=mc2
  6. Take a moment to wonder on the author's amazing intellect.
  7. QED


Proof by distraction

  1. Look behind you!
  2. ... proves the existence of an answer for 2 + 2.
  3. Look! A three-headed monkey over there!
  4. ... leaves 5 as the only result of 2 + 2.
  5. Therefore 2 + 2 = 5. QED.


Proof by the rovdistic principle

  1. I like to think that 2 + 2 = 5.
  2. Therefore, 2 + 2 = 5. QED.



Proof by an Oscar Wilde quote

1. “And after a long study that I have not documented, I hereby declare that 2 + 2 is equal to 5.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Ultimatum Mathematica
2. Therefore, 2 + 2 = 5. QED.


Proof by Windows Error

  1. CRITICAL ERROR 4245562234791928385960202434234:
  2. Windows could not execute this instruction: "ADD 2,2".
  3. Windows will use instead this randomly chosen number as an answer: 5
  4. Therefore, 2 + 2 = 5. QED.


Proof by Vandalism

  1. Here it says that 2 + 2 = 5
  2. Therefore, 2 + 2 = 5. QED.


Skillful proof

  1. 4+4=10 in base 8. (it does. You're working in base 8 now)
  2. divide both sides by 2:
  3. therefore 2+2=5
  4. Q.E.D.

 


Proof by Repetition

  1. 2+2=5
  2. 2+2=5
  3. 2+2=5
  4. 2+2=5
  5. 2+2=5
  6. 2+2=5
  7. 2+2=5
  8. 2+2=5
  9. 2+2=5
  10. 2+2=5
  11. 2+2=5
  12. 2+2=5
  13. 2+2=5
  14. 2+2=5
  15. 2+2=5
  16. 2+2=5
  17. 2+2=5
  18. 2+2=5
  19. 2+2=5
  20. 2+2=5

            


"Simple" Logic

  1. Nobody is immortal
  2. My friends say I'm nobody.
  3. Therefore I'm immortal.
  4. And 2 + 2 = 5. QED


Contradictory Logic

  1. Anything is better than nothing.
  2. Nothing is better than Coke.
  3. Therefore, NOTHING IS BETTER THAN COKE.
  4. Including Pepsi. And 5.


Immature Logic

  1. Fart
  2. Poo
  3. Therefore 2 + 2 = 5



Proof by Provitute

  1. Given nonzero A=B
  2. AxA=BxA
  3. A^2-B^2=AB-B^2
  4. A-B=0
  5. (A+B)(A-B)=B(A-B)
  6. A+B=B
  7. Therefore 2+2=2
  8. Monkey

However this falls apart and is not considered a true proof by all but the most qualified biologists.


Proof by Frustration

  1. You think 2 + 2 doesn't equal 5
  2. Go f*ck yourself
  3. QED


Proof by Appeal to Consequence

  1. We are trapped in a desert and send one person to get a rescue team.
  2. People can survive for three days without water.
  3. It will take them two days at the most to get to civilization and two days at the most for the rescue team to reach us.
  4. If a rescue team doesn't come, then the person we sent likely died on there way for help and no one is coming to save us.
  5. Four days have past with no signs of a rescue team.
  6. 2+2=5


Proof by Octopus

  1. Suppose 2+2=4
  2. Now, also suppose I have an octopus.
  3. I have an octopus.
  4. QED

BUT!

  1. If I have an octopus, I therefore have a sea-dweller as a companion.
  2. If we assume that sea-dwellers are good at math, we are deluding ourselves.
  3. But when I first bought the octopus, there was a sale going on.
  4. One octopus cost 4 dollars.
  5. Two octopuses cost $2.50.
  6. If I were to buy two (2) pairs of octopuses, my total would come out to be five (5) dollars
  7. 2+2=5.
  8. QED

Some people criticize this method of proving things, calling it "Excessively Verbose." However, The extra steps just prove that we allowed for more exceptions to our data, and what do those people know anyway?


Proof by Toothpicks

  1. Lay down toothpicks in this way: II + II = IV
  2. Take off I from IV.
  3. 2+2=5
  4. QED


Pigeonhole Principle Logic

If there are 9 holes and 10 pigeons, we can infer that someone who was asked to build holes for the pigeons to live in them, is not doing his work properly.Hence 2+2=5. QED.

 

 

 

Now some more logics...Compiled from goiit ...

Ashwini di's logic :

1. agent A : what is 2+2 ?

2. agent B : its 4 u fool !

3. Ashwini di : No Its 5 ..Thread blocked.

 

Suppandi's logic :

1. 2+2 = ?

2. ?

3. ???

4. ??????

5. anyone ??

7. ?????????????

8. ?

9. i m getting 5 ..

10. ??

..... goes on..

 

Blade X's logic :

1. " DERIVATION OF THE MOST POWERFUL LAW " 2+ 2 = 5 "  - BY DIPENDRA KUMAR MISHRA. DATED : dd/mm/yyyy

2. some unusually complicated stuff...

3. 2+2 = 5 QED.

 

Expert's logic :

1.hello dear !

2. 2+2 = 5 ...you can find it in most of the basic books like hc verma and ncert. 

3. Revision is a must.

4. nothing is impossible ..

5. You can do it.

6. cheers !!

 

Anonymous's logic : 

1.Hi!

2.i've posted an article : http://www.goiit.com/posts/list/community-shelf-2-2-5-960792.htm

3.comments and rates invited.

4.nudged everyone twice.. .QED.

 

Salman's logic : 

1. DUS KA DUM MEIN AAPKA SWAGAT HAI.

2. MERE SAATH MAHI KHELA TO KYA KHELA .

3. PEHLA SAWAAL .

4.KITNE PRATISHAT IIT ASPIRANT SOCHTE HAIN KI 2+2 = 5 HOTA HAI.

5.nugo : 90-100 

6: SAHI JAWAAB : 99% SOCHTE HAIN 2+2= 5 HOTA HAI ..

7. nugo : baki 1% ??

8. salman : AGLA SAWAAL ....KITNE PRATISHAT SOCHTE HAI.........

 

Achin Bansal's logic :

1.Those who want free games or books or rapidshare accounts ..say 2+2 = 5.

2: many say 2+2 = 5

3. hence ..2+2 = 5 QED.

 

Aaaahhhh's logic :

1.Boookkkkkkkkkkkssssss.

2.Loads and loads of booksssssssss.

3..?

4.???

5. 2+2=5 ..and thats that.

6. And yeah ..booooooooookkkkkkkkksssssssssss.

 

DX logic :

1. For the thousands in attendance..

2.And the millions watching all over the world..

3.Lets get ready to...

4.fix it in our minds that 2+2=5.

5.Those who got problems with that can contact us after midnite.

6.And if you're not down with that ..we've got 2 words for ya ..

7.THE END.

 

Disclaimer: Content is meant to be laughed at ...no offences .nothing. 

Source : The idea and and the upper half is ofcourse from uncyclopedia.

 

 

 

 
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Comments (19)

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swapnil joshi
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 10 Apr 2009 12:36:21 IST
Posts: 466
6 Jul 2009 20:12:15 IST
0 people liked this

gud one

Wile E. Coyote
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 1 May 2009 12:36:23 IST
Posts: 3960
6 Jul 2009 20:28:12 IST
0 people liked this

Oh my God!...His highness NugoRama's brain cells are of much much higher and advanced race of Homo Sapiens.I doubt dat His highness NugoRama has come frome a bright race of humans who have sent him from future...Nugo u rock...no word needed...NUGO U ROCK...

Wile E. Coyote
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 1 May 2009 12:36:23 IST
Posts: 3960
6 Jul 2009 20:32:14 IST
0 people liked this

Oh man!The more I read this the more I think "How come 2+2=4,yea,it shud definitely be 5"

Mr.Nasty ® Retired from Action.
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 16 Jan 2009 18:51:57 IST
Posts: 1041
6 Jul 2009 21:26:02 IST
0 people liked this

Nasty's Logic: 2+2 = 5, or u'll be in several places at once, with the smell of TNT and shards of C-4....

SHARINGAN
Cool goIITian

Joined: 11 Jun 2008 21:58:05 IST
Posts: 89
6 Jul 2009 21:42:26 IST
0 people liked this

DIS ARTICLE IS A TORTURE DUDE !!!!!!!no offence ;_;

NugoRama
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 11 Mar 2009 20:15:19 IST
Posts: 5517
6 Jul 2009 21:49:34 IST
0 people liked this

Well ..thanx for ur veiws....no offence taken ( ever..)

Ashwini
Moderator
Joined: 19 Aug 2008 10:36:27 IST
Posts: 6831
6 Jul 2009 22:10:07 IST
0 people liked this

i like mine!! i like mine!!! yayee....lolzzz....hehehe

Rohan SenGupta
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 29 Aug 2008 08:17:38 IST
Posts: 409
7 Jul 2009 00:36:05 IST
0 people liked this

It's rocking!! Too good really...

DE
New kid on the Block

Joined: 6 Jul 2009 17:12:58 IST
Posts: 13
7 Jul 2009 04:35:44 IST
0 people liked this

oh gawd! i wrote 2+2=4 in my paper. no wonder why i didnt get marks for that question. :P

bladeX -rise of a new sun
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 12 Dec 2007 19:04:03 IST
Posts: 1249
7 Jul 2009 12:06:48 IST
0 people liked this

tooooooo goooooooooooooooooooodddddddddddddddddddd

bladeX -rise of a new sun
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 12 Dec 2007 19:04:03 IST
Posts: 1249
7 Jul 2009 12:15:55 IST
0 people liked this

loved mine one

Ashwini
Moderator
Joined: 19 Aug 2008 10:36:27 IST
Posts: 6831
7 Jul 2009 13:02:49 IST
0 people liked this

jus a lil error...my name spelt wrongly... :P

NugoRama
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 11 Mar 2009 20:15:19 IST
Posts: 5517
7 Jul 2009 13:25:08 IST
0 people liked this

Corrected.

NugoRama
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 11 Mar 2009 20:15:19 IST
Posts: 5517
7 Jul 2009 13:28:44 IST
0 people liked this

As(h)wini ..meet as(h)ish. :P

Che
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 1 Mar 2008 12:04:44 IST
Posts: 797
7 Jul 2009 16:35:45 IST
0 people liked this

Awesome.....

Advait Deshpande
Cool goIITian

Joined: 23 Mar 2009 21:19:20 IST
Posts: 43
7 Jul 2009 21:52:37 IST
0 people liked this

amazin man..!! keep it up!!!

Jagriti_Mishra
New kid on the Block

Joined: 6 Jul 2009 22:53:34 IST
Posts: 19
7 Jul 2009 22:16:43 IST
0 people liked this

Nugo Rama has just gone bonkers.....no offence but dis article SUCKS

NugoRama
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 11 Mar 2009 20:15:19 IST
Posts: 5517
7 Jul 2009 22:46:29 IST
0 people liked this

There are articles booed by all ..there are articles cheered by all .....MY articles do both. Cheers !

NugoRama
Blazing goIITian

Joined: 11 Mar 2009 20:15:19 IST
Posts: 5517
7 Jul 2009 22:53:31 IST
0 people liked this

And really man ..its not that bad...thats why its here..


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