Girlfriend:"And are you sure you love me and noone else?"
Boyfriend: "Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday."
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
Whats the best thing about babies?
MAKING EM!
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the ciggarettes I smoked, i feel ashamed. Then I look into the ciggarette & think about the workers in the ciggarette factory & all of their hopes & dreams. If I dont smoke this ciggarette, they might be out of work & their dreams would be shattered, Then I say to myself, it's better that I smoke this ciggarette & let their dreams come true then be selfish & worry about my LUNGS.
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter
Chiman:Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps copying me !!
Doctor:Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps copying me !!
A guy took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler, calling people for their views on various issues. On his very first call, he introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll."
A man on the other end replied, "Yeah, and this is a street light!"
Signboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...
Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for identification parade. When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: "Yahi thee,Yahi thee"
Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."
"What did one ghost say to another?"
"Do you believe in people?"
"Where did you get those big eyes?"
"They came with the face."
I was thinking of becoming a doctor.
I have the handwriting for it.
Your future depends on your dreams, So go to sleep.
Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes annual free trip around the Sun.
: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it?s 25,000
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter
Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
At weddings old aunts used 2 tease me saying: You are next, you are next.
But they stopped it since I started doing the same to them at funerals!
Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence.
Student: WOW !
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