Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing.
Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn't laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death.
Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta.
Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So the boss shot him.
Then came Jaggi. As he opened his mouth to tell the joke, Santa suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone was puzzled. Santa was laughing madly.
The boss asked him, "Why the hell are you laughing without hearing the joke?"
Santa said laughing and giggling, "Oh! How funny Banta's joke was!"
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Unhappy wid increasing sardar jokes in country Santa and banta decided to go to punjab HUMAN RIGHTS minister surinder singh.
Santa " U r a sardar urself.Arent u worried "
surinder " oye !! koi baat nee yaar!! Vaise bhi hum sardar thode bhuddu hote hai"
SANTA is furious and asks him to prove it.
SURINDER (to his driver) " Oye Jaggi idhar aa.Ghar jaa aur meri wife se puch ki kya main ghar pe hoon "
JAGGI RUNS TO HIS HOME !!!!!!
surinder " Dekha hai naa buddhu !! PHONE KAR KE BHI TIH PUCH SAKTA THA "
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Banta decided to do his PhD.
While looking out for a unique subject to write his thesis on he saw a cockroach walking around.
Banta placed the cockroach on the table and cut one of its legs. And he said to him, "WALK!”
The cockroach moves forward.
Then Banta cut its second leg and shouted, "WALK!"
The cockroach manages to move forward.
Banta then cut its third leg and commanded, "WALK!" The cockroach manages to wriggle forward on one leg.
Finally Banta cut its fourth leg and shouted, "WALK !".
The poor cockroach could not move and lay helplessly on the table.
Banta repeated the same experiment with over a thousand cockroaches. And he found all results matched.
Banta was jubilant, "Now ! My thesis is ready!"
He proceeds to write down the subject: "When All Four Legs of A Cockroach Are Cut it becomes Deaf !"
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Santa was enjoying sun on a beach in America. A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing ?"
Santa, "No I am Santa"
Another Guy Came and asked the same question.
Santa answered, "No, No Im Santa"
Third one came and asked the same question, Santa was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw a man (our Banta) enjoying the Beach.
He went and asked him, "Are you Relaxing?"
Banta, being educated answered, "Yes I am relaxing"
Santa slapped him on his face and said, "abey, Sab tere Ko wahah dhoond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai."
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Banta: `Lord, is it is true that to you a thousand years is like a second?`
God: `Yes, that`s true.`
Banta: `And is it also true that to you a thousand crores is like a paisa?`
God: `Yes, that`s so.`
Banta: `Then, Lord, could you give me a thousand crores?`
God: `Yes, in a minute.`
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Three salesmen were bragging who is the best.
The first said, that he is so good he sold a color television to a blind man.
The second bragged he sold a HI-FI stereo system to a deaf man.
The third said he sold a Cuckoo clock to Banta.
The other two said, so what?
The third salesman added, "Along with the Cuckoo clock, I also sold him fifty kgs of bird seeds!!!!!"
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Santa is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie.
It says, “I will give you three wishes.”
Santa thinks awhile. Finally he says, “I want a beer that never is empty.”
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer.
Santa starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill.
The genie asks about his next two wishes.
Santa says, “I want two more of these.”
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Banta`s eldest daughter had been taken to the delivery room in a hospital and he was anxiously waiting outside, when he heard the crying of a newborn babe. A few minutes later a nurse came out of the delivery room.
Banta rushed up to her and enquired, "Sister, am I a grandfather or a grandmother ?"
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Santa and Banta went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can`t eat your own sandwiches here!"
They looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
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One day Banta got a letter from Santa.
`Dear Banta, I am suffering very much So, please help me! Please give me 10,000/- I will return after 6 months.`
Banta thought that he should not give the money to Santa.
After some time he thought of a great idea then Banta started to write a letter to Santa.
`My dear friend, I am really sorry. Unfortunately I could not receive your letter in which you asked me Rs.10,000/-`
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Santa and Banta had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.
Finally Santa invited Banta to visit him in his new apartment. "I got a wife and two kids and I`d love to have you visit us."
Banta, "Great. Where do you live?"
Santa, "Here`s the address. And there`s plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I`ll let you in." "Good. But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?", asks Banta.
"Surely, you`re not coming empty-handed!"
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Once Santa and Banta were celebrating in a bar. A man walks into the bar and asks what the fuss is all about.
Santa says: "We have just put together a 100 piece jigsaw puzzle in under six hours."
The man says: "So what’s the big deal.
The Banta. "On the box it says from 3 to 5 years."
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An Englishman, an American and Santa are called upon to test a lie detector.
The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Ok", he says, "10 bottles".
And the machine is silent.
The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Allright, 8 hamburgers".
And the machine is silent.
The Santa says: "I think...",
BUZZZZZZ goes the machine