My GIRL FRIEND dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.


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My GIRL FRIEND and I were happy for 16 years. Then we met .


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A good GIRL FRIEND always forgives her BOY FRIEND when she's wrong.


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I bought my GIRL FRIEND a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."

I asked her, "Where's the car?"

She replied, "In the lake."


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The secret of a happy RELATIONSHIP remains a secret.


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I haven't spoken to my GIRL FRIEND in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.


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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.

So I got myself two girlfriends.


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Man is incomplete until he is in LOVE. Then he is finished.


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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


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A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same: "You can have mine."


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It's not true that married men live longer than single men.

It only seems longer.


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Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.


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A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.

The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."


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The most effective way to remember your GIRL FRIEND's birthday is to forget it once .