Two mathematicians are in a bar, having an argument. One claims that the average person knows very little about mathematics while the other disagrees, saying that most people can cope with maths very well.



The first mathematician goes off to the washroom. The second mathematician then calls the waitress over and tells her, “When my friend comes back, I’m going to ask you a question. All you have to do is answer, ‘One third x cubed.’ Understand?”



The waitress looks a bit surprised. “You mean you want me to say …”



“Yes,” says the mathematician, “‘one third x cubed’, that’s all. Can you say it? ‘One third x cubed’” …” he repeats the phrase over and over, and makes the waitress say it over and over again until he is satisfied that she has got it all memorized.



The first mathematician returns and his friend proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about maths. He says he will ask the blonde waitress a simple calculus question, and the first mathematician laughingly agrees. The second mathematician calls over the waitress and asks: “What is the integral of x squared?”



“One third x cubed,” replies the waitress, to the astonishment of the first mathematician and the chuckling delight of the other. She walks away, but in a moment she returns to their table and says, "Plus an arbitrary constant.”







 
Why being a mathematician is the coolest:



A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.

"Aha," says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black."

"Hmm," says the physicist, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black."

"No," says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!"


 




 

 

One day a mathematician decides to quit his job and become a fireman. The fire chief says, “Well, you look like a good guy. I’ll be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test.”

The fire chief takes the mathematcian to the alley behind the fire department which contains a wooden shed, a spigot, and a hose. The chief then says, “Okay, you’re walking in the alley and you notice the wooden shed here on fire. What do you do?”

The mathematician replies, “Well, I hook up the hose to the spigot, turn the water on, and put out the fire.”

The chief says, “That’s great! Perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you’re walking down the alley but the shed is not on fire?”

The mathematician puzzles over the question for a while before saying, “I set the shed on fire.”

The chief yells, “What? That’s a terrible thing to do! Why would you want to set fire to the shed?”

The mathematician replies, “Well, that way I reduce the problem to one I’ve already solved.”







Rate if ya liked.