S o l u t i o n.   One of them was 25, and other 24.  Why?



                        25=5², the next square is 6²=36, i.e. in 11 years.



                        24=4!, the next factorial is 5!=120,  i.e. in 96 years.

A pupil divides 28 by 7 and receives as a result 13. His teacher asks him:



- How did you receive this result ?  



- First I divide 8 by 7 and receive 1. Now 1 x 7 = 7 and I write:







                                 

Now I divide 21 by 7 and receive 3. Now I write:







                                 

The teacher asks him to check the result by multiplication. The pupil answers:



- I execute 13 x 7  by the steps:



   1)   1 x 7 = 7,



   2)   3 x 7 = 21,



   3)   7 + 21 = 28.







The teacher asks him to check the result by addition. The pupil answers:



- First I add 3 seven times and receive 21, then I add 1 seven times and receive 28.

A teacher of English was ill and a teacher of mathematics replaced him. He began to compose a table of irregular verbs:

Then he said:



- Okay, I mark this form as  x . Then it’s possible to compose the proportion:

Answer:   Wheel has a form of a circle. An area of a circle is equal to p r ², so this square clatters.

Answer:   Physicist thinks that 1 kilobyte = 1000 bytes, and programmer thinks that 1 kilometer = 1024 meters.

At a geometry lesson a teacher asks to represent the shortest distance between the two points A and B on a blackboard: 
 

The teacher asks:



- Johnny, who taught you this ?



- My father, he is a taxi driver.
 

Sequence

Continue the sequence:    z,  o,  t, … .

S o l u t i o n .  As  z = zero,  o = one,  t = two,  the continued sequence is:

                           z, o, t, t,  f,  f,  s,  s,  e,  n,  t, …

At the parents’ meeting

At the parents’ meeting a teacher of mathematics complains of his pupils to their parents:



- Your children are very dull. Today I explained them a new theorem. I explained once, they didn’t understand. I explained



  once again, they didn’t understand. I explained the third time, I understood myself, but they still didn’t understand.




 

Proof

At a geometry lesson a teacher asks to draw an isosceles triangle. One of the pupils draws it. The teacher:



- Now prove that this triangle is really isosceles.



- Sir, I give you a word of a gentleman.




 

Daily time-table

One absent-minded professor composed a daily time-table and showed it to his assistant. The assistant looked it through and said:



- Very well, but your day consists of  25 hours.



- What a pity! Now I must wake up one hour earlier.






 

New about limits

At a mathematics exam a professor asks a student to calculate the limit:















The professor is surprised:



- What is it ? Why ?



The student answers:



- You explained at your lecture that







                                 







and I have used this example.

The shortest telegrams in a history

German mathematician Dirichlet was very taciturn. When his son was born, he sent to his father-in-law the following telegram: “2 +1 = 3”. Maybe it’s one of the shortest telegrams in the history. But the shortest telegram conversation ever was between Oscar Wilde and his publisher regarding his new book. O. Wilde wired the single character “?” and received from his publisher the reply: “!”. 

New in chemistry

At a chemistry exam a professor asks a student:



-  Tell me please, how to get sulphur.



The student answers:



-  Let’s take hydrogen sulphide and warm it up. Hydrogen evaporates and sulphur remains.



-  Very well. I put you an “excellent” and warm it up.  A “good” and a “fair” evaporate and  a “poor” remains.

Euclid’s wisdom

Euclid was asked:



-  What do you want: two whole apples or four halves ?



-  Four halves, of course.



-  Why ? It’s the same, isn’t it ?



-  No, it isn’t. Choosing two whole apples, I can not see if they are maggoty or aren’t. 

Leibniz’s bust

Friends of Leibniz gave him as a present his bust, made by famous sculptor, on his birthday. Leibniz stared at the bust for a long time and then said:



-  So, this is a face, which I shave every day.

Einstein and telephone

One woman asked Einstein to remember her telephone number: 361-343.



Einstein answered:



-  It’s very easy. 19 squared and 7 cubed.

Einstein at school

A teacher of algebra said to Einstein’s father:



-  I have never met a duller child.

An honest sergeant

A sergeant teaches young soldiers:



-  Water boils at 90 degrees.



One of the soldiers retorts:



-  I’m sorry, sir. But I know that water boils at 100 degrees.



-  Okay, I’ll check, - the sergeant answered.



The next day the sergeant says:



-  You were right. Water boils at 100 degrees, I mixed up with a right angle.

New method of fast calculus

Two Englishmen are going by train. A conversation isn’t getting on. The train passes a meadow, on which a herd of cows pastures. One of the passengers says:



- 1356.



The other man is surprised, but gives no answer. In some time the train passes another pasture. The first passenger says:



- 1693.



His neighbor brakes and asks:



- Sir, our train moves at speed 60 miles per hour. How can you count so quickly ?



- Oh, sir, it’s very simple! First I count a quantity of legs in a herd and then I divide this number by four.

Study and money
 
Father writes a letter to his son-student:



“Dear John!



I send you 50 dollars, as you asked. By the way remember please that the number 50 is written with one zero, but not with two.”
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

About terrestrial gravity
 

A sergeant explains to young soldiers a gist of Earth gravity:



-  If to throw a stone upwards, then it drops to the ground. This means, that the terrestrial gravity effects it.



One of the soldiers asks:



-  What if it drops into water?



-  It doesn’t refer to us. This problem is considered by fleet.




 

At exam
 

An examiner asks a student:



-  What is your name ?



-  John Smith, sir.



-  Why do you smile ?



-  I’m satisfied with my answer for the first question.




 

An excellent work
 

A teacher returns a pupil his work:



-  Not a single mistake was made! Johnny, tell me honestly, did anybody help your father ?




 

Valid reason
 

A teacher asks a pupil:



-  Why does your father make home tasks for you every day ?



-  Because my mother is always busy.




 

Study, sonny
 

-  Dad, I’m expelled from the college.



-  Don’t weep, I’ll buy you a new college.




 

School’s news
 

-  Were you asked at school today ?



-  Yes, I was.



-  What about ?



-  Why are you always absent at the parents’ meetings ?
 

Business-like conversation
 

-  Uncle Bill, I need to tell you something.



-  Well, but tell briefly and clearly.



-  100 dollars, please.




 

General disaster
 

Two boys went to a doctor.



-  What do you complain about ? – the doctor asks.



-  I swallowed 50 cents. – one of  the boys answered.



-  And why do you weep ? – the doctor asks the other boy.



-  This is my money.




 

Fast calculation
 

A teacher asks:



-  Tommy, find please a sum of these two numbers.



-  But I didn’t lose it, sir.




 

About inertia
 

-  Johnny, give an example of inertia.



-  A car has stopped, but a driver is going farther.







                                -------







-  What is an inertia force ?



-  A ball is flying to a window and it’s impossible to catch it.




 

An essence answer
 

At an arithmetic lesson a teacher asks:



-  How many will it remain, if to subtract 1 from 100 ?



-  Two zeros.




 

Fast solution
 

A teacher of mathematics writes an equation on a blackboard and calls a pupil:



-  Billy, find  x  please.



-  I have found, here it is! – the pupil answers and shows to  x  with a finger.




 

Working week
 

-  A cow gives 20 liters of milk a day. How many liters of a milk is it possible to get for a week ?



-  But we don’t know, how many days a week a cow works.




 

Physics news
 

As it’s known, the famous Albert Einstein tried to solve the problem of time-space unity during last twenty years of his life and didn’t solve it. However this problem was solved recently by sergeant Brown. He drew up a platoon of soldiers and ordered them to dig a ditch from fence till dinner hour.




 

New in geometry
 

-  How is the biggest side in a right-angled triangle called ?



   As all the pupils keep silent the teacher begins to help:



-  Hy-po-…



-  Hippopotamus !




 

New definition of fraction
 
A teacher of mathematics:



-  If to take one tomato and to cut it by 4 parts, then each lobule is one fourth part of a tomato. Now do you understand what is a fraction ?



-  Yes, it is a part of salad !
 
 
 
 
 
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