SANTA-BANTA Jokes

Santa bought a new mobile.

He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed.

Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610."

Santa : I am a Proud Santa, My son is in Medical College.

Banta : Really, what is he studying?

Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.

Santa: What is Common between Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus?

Banta: All are Born on Government Holidays.

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother tongue?

Banta: Very long!

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.

Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi?

Banta was caught for speeding and went before the judge.

The judge: What will you take 30 days or Rs.3000?

Banta: I think I'll take the money.

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.

Banta: He probably might have got a lot of applause when he came out.

Santa: He never came out of the cage!

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever

What comes first the chicken or the egg?

O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

Teacher to Banta: Where were you born?

Banta : In Tiruvanantapuram.

Teacher : Spell it?

Banta : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.

Santa : People consider me as a GOD

Banta : How do you know??

Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! You have came again.

Santa complained to Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.

Police : Why did the thief not take the TV?

Santa : I was watching the TV

Santa Singh's Interview

Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of good.

Santa Singh: Bad.

Interviewer: Come.

Santa Singh: Go.



Interviewer: Ugly.

Santa Singh: Pichlli.



Interviewer: U G L Y?

Santa Singh: PICHLLY !!!!!!!



Interviewer: Shut Up.

Santa Singh: Keep Talking.



Interviewer: Get Out.

Santa Singh: Come In.



Interviewer: Oh my God.

Santa Singh: Oh your Devil.



Interviewer: You are Rejected.

Santa Singh: I am Selected.

~~~ BALLE BALLLE ~~~

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School Joke

Dirty minds please don’t read this and others please rate if this is really interesting.

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked,"Boy, what is your problem?"



Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"



Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.



Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.



Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Boy.: "9".



Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Boy.: "36".



And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade."



Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.



Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.



Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Boy., after a moment "Legs."



Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Boy.: "Pockets."



Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut



Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum



Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Boy.: Shake hands



Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Boy.: Yep.



Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent



Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring



Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose



Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow



Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Firetruck



Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork



Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME



Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.



The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

"Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, even I got the last ten questions wrong myself!! "



:-) :-) :-)

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Banta's letter to Bill Gates

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

One personal questions.. How is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

Regards,

Banta