Never think of the past It brings tears... If you think of the future It brings fears... So, live life in the present And drink chilled beers!
A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents - Ruby First Class in Bed!
There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it. There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it!
He said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune? She said... No stupid, I'd love u no matter who left you the money!
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Doctor to patient : Y o u will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Santa : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
santa : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.
Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks santa why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
santa : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
Santa : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Santa : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
Boss : Where were you born ?
santa : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
santa : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
How will you destroy a submarine full of santas?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.
Husband1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!
True Love is like a pillow U could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in pain U could EMBRACE it when u r happy Want True Love? Spend Rs50 BUY A PILLOW
What do I do when I see someone extremely Gorgeous, Attractive, Terrific, Cute, Fabulous.... I Stare, I smile, And, when I get tired..... I put down the mirror !
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth
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