WORLDS BEST JOKES

Blazing goIITian

Posted on
6 May 2009 19:00:02 IST
Posts: 1860
6 May 2009 19:00:02 IST
0 people liked this
14
760 View Post
WORLDS BEST JOKES

 Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen? 

O2.zip

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 How do two programmers make money? 
- One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Knock, knock.Who's there?" 
very long pause... 
"Java."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. 
When asked to define "Great" he said, 
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" 
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." 
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did one math book say to the other math book? 

"I don't know about you man, but I got a lot of problems!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When was Heisenberg born?
Oh, that's very uncertain.

 

 

Seen on the door to a light-wave lab:
"Do not look into laser with remaining good eye."

 

 

You enter the laboratory and see an experiment.
How will you know which class is it?
If it's green and wiggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics. 

 

 

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Issac Newton1: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Issac Newton2: It was pushed on the road.

Issac Newton3: It was pushed on the road by another chicken, which went away from the road.

Issac Newton4: It was attracted to a chicken on the other side of the road. 

 

 

 

 

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

 

 

 

 

 

 

What happens when electrons lose their energy?
A: They get Bohr'ed.

 

 

 

 

 

Why was the mathematician afraid to travel by road????

 

because the width of the road is negligible when compared to its length...

 

 

 

Share this article on:

Comments (14)


New kid on the Block

Joined: 6 May 2009 08:08:51 IST
Posts: 13
6 May 2009 19:31:57 IST
0 people liked this

Good!

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 11 Mar 2009 20:15:19 IST
Posts: 5517
6 May 2009 20:19:54 IST
0 people liked this

not at all academic

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 11 Mar 2009 20:15:19 IST
Posts: 5517
6 May 2009 20:20:30 IST
0 people liked this

ok ..little bit academic..sorry

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 11 Mar 2009 20:15:19 IST
Posts: 5517
6 May 2009 20:20:51 IST
0 people liked this

well they are good.

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 6 Aug 2007 16:16:05 IST
Posts: 1860
6 May 2009 20:21:04 IST
0 people liked this

soooory i had 4 got abt dat....

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 17 Oct 2007 13:02:40 IST
Posts: 1659
6 May 2009 20:34:21 IST
0 people liked this

he he

Hot goIITian

Joined: 2 Feb 2009 11:32:59 IST
Posts: 168
6 May 2009 20:43:51 IST
0 people liked this

ccoOlL... very nice!!!

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 7 Feb 2007 21:47:25 IST
Posts: 1608
6 May 2009 21:43:40 IST
0 people liked this

gr8 ones... and ive never seen them b4!

Scorching goIITian

Joined: 5 Apr 2008 21:42:06 IST
Posts: 269
6 May 2009 22:03:26 IST
0 people liked this

great

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 17 Nov 2008 19:29:31 IST
Posts: 1331
6 May 2009 22:43:41 IST
0 people liked this

maths problems ! that was nice man

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 6 Aug 2007 16:16:05 IST
Posts: 1860
6 May 2009 23:59:57 IST
0 people liked this

tnx

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 6 Aug 2007 16:16:05 IST
Posts: 1860
7 May 2009 06:56:05 IST
0 people liked this

@ dylan...i ve compiled them 4m different sites..

Scorching goIITian

Joined: 26 Aug 2007 14:29:13 IST
Posts: 264
10 May 2009 01:13:32 IST
0 people liked this

great

Blazing goIITian

Joined: 24 Jan 2009 19:01:53 IST
Posts: 608
10 May 2009 14:03:23 IST
0 people liked this

ccoOlL... very nice!!!



Quick Reply


Reply

Some HTML allowed.
Keep your comments above the belt or risk having them deleted.
Signup for a avatar to have your pictures show up by your comment
If Members see a thread that violates the Posting Rules, bring it to the attention of the Moderator Team
Free Sign Up!

Preparing for IIT-JEE ?

Arihant Revision Package for IIT JEE - Books, Practice Tests + Rank Predictor


@ INR 1,995/-

For Quick Info

Name

Mobile No.

Sponsored Ads