IIT JEE , AIEEE Forum - Physics , General - Please suggest the ways to commit suicide :)

emergency

Please suggest the ways to commit suicide :)

hemant.cacr

Nice question

Well there are many ways but let me tell you the most glamorous way.Paint yourself with emulsion then run on a treadmill for half an hour.You'll surely die.

Do NOT under any circumstances take Cyanide.
Reasons:
1.You won't get it easily
2.Your body will turn pink (It will look like a pig....Won't it?...duh!)
3.It is very costly (Please mention your budget for more details)

BTW:Why do you wanna commit suicide?

rakesh61

here a easy one study as much without sleeping ,eating as u can till the unlucky nos 13 april comes

u will surely die
it will be like die iit , sleep iit , eat iit , awake iit

do rate me before u start such a study

if u cant do such a study then remove such thoughts and be confident

rakesh61

did u give cbse pmt prelim yesterday ?

danny_007

stop breathing

ziauddin75

simple, chullu bhar pani le ker usme doob jaa

but think many times b4 doing so

racerix

GEt SoMe LiFe DuDe

MaRnA BuDhaPe MEiN

Dont you have any 'emergency' things better tha this????

viswanath

stop coming to goiit....heh heh :)

mujtaba4iit

Just go to a nearby general store and ask for MORTEIN RAT KILL(Rat cake). Yaar if u wanna commit suicide toh, cake kha k maro.
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And 1 more thing .............................................................................................................
SUICIDE NOTE LIKHNA MAT BHOOLNA.

hemant.cacr

Here are some proven ways:

#1.Go to CalTech and yell "MIT ROCKS",someone will definitely kill you.
#2.Try to date Katie Holmes,Tom Cruise will kill you.
#3.Study chemistry for 3 days,[NULL]

Some brilliant ways 99.9..........%

Method 1: Jumping Off

You will need:

A good high building or cliff
No regrets
Optional: A cape

Locate a nice high building or cliff to jump off of.
Go to the top.
Jump.
Do a flip.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Die.

This method has a number of advantages. It's simple. It's dramatic. You can save on funeral costs and have yourself buried in a pizza box. On the other hand, if it's raining, your clothes will get soaked and your body will just wash down the drain. Also, it's just not terribly original. Dozens of people try to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge every year. Boring. (Make sure to do the flip cause you never know, you might get a perfect ten.)

Method 2: Complete Exsanguination

You will need:

A sharp object. Razors, scissors, broken glass, or biting criticism all work
A rafter or other high support
A rope

Using the rope, tie your ankles together so that you are hanging from the rafters in a head-down posture.
Grasp the sharp object in your hand, and draw it swiftly across your neck. Be sure to cut deep enough so that you get all four major blood vessels.
Make a puddle on the floor. Or use a bucket for the Red Cross.
Admire your handiwork.

Anyone can kill themselves by slitting their wrists. A true artist goes for a complete exsanguination. For extra credit, tie your wrists to your ankles to complete the Long Pig allusion.

Method 3: Jumping off a Plane

You will need:

Plane Ticket

Make a Skydiving Reservation
Ignore instructor during flight
Refuse parachute and jump to your death
Optional: Aim for pigeons as you plummet

For those of you that never liked to listen to directions, this is an obvious choice. You get to your goal and continue your longstanding tradition of ignoring the words of others.

Method 4: Car Death

You will need

Nothing

Find a speeding car.
Wait until the car is in range.
Walk in front of the car and watch as the car hits you.
You're dead, nothing to it.

This method is recommended for those people that loathe all the crass materialism involved with other suicide methods. Even the luxury of clothes is not needed in this method. Those Capitalist Pigs will rue the day your naked form destroys their precious sports car.

Method 5: Suicide Bombing

You will need

ATOMIC BOMB

A location where someone carrying an atom bomb won't look out of place. New York is good for this: nothing looks out of place in New York.
Religious tract of your choice. The {Very Famous Indian Book.Hint KS} is a particularly good option, but you could also try the Book of Common Prayer or Analects.

Walk to a suitable street corner. Street corners are the proper place to do anything important in New York.
Set them up the bomb.
Yell something incomprehensible in a foreign language. Some possibilities are "MA BITE EST EN FEU !" or "9?????4?!!!"
Generate a mushroom cloud.

If you've ever wanted to have your passing remembered, this is the method for you. However, it is wise to make sure that before you blow yourself up you make sure people know who you are. You don't want someone else hogging all the glory, do you?

Method 6: Great White Shark

You will need

    * A plane ticket to Hawaii, Australia, South Africa or other shark-infested waters
    * boat
    * string
    * lots and lots of mackerel
    * chum
    * Peterson's Field Guide To Sharks
    * Life Jacket

Imagine how jealous the parents of that other kid are going to be! They'll open up the paper expecting a nice piece on little Johnny's suicide, but his OD will be a tiny blurb in the corner. Meanwhile, you get front page with your suicide-by-shark! Nobody will even go to his funeral- his friends will all be like, "Yeah, it's too bad. But this other dude- man, he got killed by a shark! I can't wait to see that. I hear it's open casket and you can see the bite marks and everything! I'm sorry to miss Johnny's wake, but how many times do you get to see a dude who's been gnawed in half by a shark?"

Now, the first thing to do is find shark-infested waters. The Great Barrier Reef is perfect, but Hawaii will do. Rent a boat and head offshore into deep water. Make sure you pack a life preserver and a whistle in case of an emergency. Tie the mackerel to you with string. Now, pour a bucket of chum into the water. Wait for the fins to appear- this is important! If you get in the water before the sharks appear, you may die of hypothermia before you get eaten. And hypothermia never makes Page 1. Wait for the fins to appear. This is where the field guide comes in- you want to make sure it's a great white that eats you. Death by blue shark just doesn't sound as cool. When you see a big one, hop right in. The shark does the rest.

Method 7: Human Science Fair Volcano

You will need

Baking Soda, 4 boxes
Vinegar

This method is gruesome, excruciating painful, and dramatic. In short, the perfect suicide method. First, you're going to need to down about four boxes of baking soda. That's not easy, so you may want to try to make it more palatable by mixing it into a milkshake or something. Next, get some shot glasses and pour ten shots of vinegar (hint: you may want to mix some red food coloring into the vinegar to color the "lava"). Hold your nose and down them. Now, remember that baking soda and vinegar volcano you made for the third grade science fair? That's you in about ten seconds when the acid in the vinegar causes the baking soda to release carbon dioxide. You can go for a Hawaiian volcano spewing-lava effect, or if you close your mouth really tight, you can get an explosive, Mount St. Helens kind of eruption going on.

It's not just suicidal, it's also educational!

Method 0/0: Overkill

You will need

Gun
Piano wire/Good rope
Portable pool
Sharks
Tall Building
A friend

This method is for those who have actually failed at failing. (I'm looking at YOU, Ann Coulter (And even if you do manage to bungle this sure fire method...well...it's still entertaining ;D.))

   1. Find a very tall building, overlooking a public place.
   2. Get to the roof. Remember, use the stairs, not the elevator. You don't want to die from a faulty elevator!
   3. Tie a noose around your neck, and secure it to the building. Make sure the rope extends to the bottom, so you hit the ground and still break your neck. Alternatively, you may use the piano wire method above.
   4. Get a friend to position a pool at the bottom, and dump the sharks into it.
   5. Load the gun, and stick it inside your mouth.
   6. Jump!

What will happen: The rope should kill you, ripping your head off as you hit the bottom. If the rope breaks, the fall would still kill you. If THAT doesn't work, you can still pull the trigger for the gun and blow your brains out. What? Still not dead? then the sharks will eat you. And if by some cruel twist of fate, you still don't die, you'll drown and be unable to escape, thanks to the broken legs from the fall. This is recommended for Emos, who seem to be completly unable to kill themselves, and Charlie Chaplin.

What Now Dude?

Nothing, You're dead. IF YOU ARE STILL READING THIS THEN YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG, VERY VERY WRONG!!! Go back and try a different method.

***Note:Author died while writing this piece of crap***

emergency

want some more

racerix

THEN GO AND EAT MORTEIN RAT KILL, HAR TARAH KE CHUHE MAAR DETA HAI.

ELSE TAKE ONE OFF MY TWO CARS N TRY TO GET IN ITS TOP SPEED ;) {If you can, and dont worry isme brakes nahi hai}

studyid

see this :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95R8R_E2OvU

Ask & Discuss Questions with Community & Experts

Method 1: Jumping Off

Method 2: Complete Exsanguination

Method 3: Jumping off a Plane

Method 4: Car Death

Method 5: Suicide Bombing

Method 6: Great White Shark

Method 7: Human Science Fair Volcano

Method 0/0: Overkill

What Now Dude?