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Community shelf Community shelf -> pc vs bollwood movies -> Go to message
This Post 0 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 0 votes )   [?]
nice :)
Community shelf Community shelf -> Latest Version of Ramayan.......(A MUST READ) -> Go to message
This Post 0 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 0 votes )   [?]
even i ve posted this sumtim back...
Community shelf Community shelf -> ULTIMATE office dares!! -> Go to message
This Post 0 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 0 votes )   [?]
ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
 
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
 
2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
 
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
" Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye. "
 
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and grimace.
 
5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "
Sorry, I really prefer it this way. "
 
6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
 
7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.
 
THREE-POINT DARES
 
1) Say to your boss, " I like your style " and shoot him with
double-barreled fingers.
 
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, " Did you get all
that, I don't want to have to repeat it. "
 
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
 
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle
(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
 
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
 
FIVE POINT DARES
 
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).
 
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
 
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as " Bob. "
 
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you " really have to go do a
number two. "
 
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in " The report's on your desk, Mon. " Keep this up for 1 hour.
 
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
 
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, " Shut up, all of you just shut up! "
 
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, " As God as my
witness, I'll never go hungry again. "
 
9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10 am slot: " See how I
look in tights. " (5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your
boss)
 
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, " You wanna
trade? "
 
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: " Do
you hear that? " " What? " " Never mind, it's gone now. "
 
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, " I can't
talk about it. "
 
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a
lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
 
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
 
16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and
act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
 
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits,
smashing each biscuit with your fist.
 
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
door.
 
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
 
And if that wasn't enough for you. How to keep a healthy level of
insanity:
 
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
 
2) Tell your children over dinner. " Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go. "
 
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.
 
4) Put you r waste basket on your desk and label it " IN " ..
 
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
 
6) Finish all your sentences with " In accordance with the prophecy. "
 
7) Dont use any punctuation
 
8) Use, too.much; punctuation!
 
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
 
10) Ask people what gender they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
 
11) Specify that your drive-through order is " to go. "
 
12) Sing along at the opera.
 
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
 
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.
 
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.
 
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, " Rock
Hard. "
 
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, cry " I Won! I Won! 3rd time
this week!!! "
 
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,
" Run for your lives, they're loose! "
 
Catalogs Discussion Forums -> Lounge -> goiit.com's designer wins the International Clio Future Gold Contest! -> Go to message
This Post 0 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 0 votes )   [?]
congrats!!!!
Community shelf Community shelf -> Have u seen a frozen sea? -> Go to message
This Post 16 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 5 votes )   [?]

Have you ever seen a frozen sea?

Community shelf Community shelf -> First Night of Marriage With An Educated Girl.... -> Go to message
This Post 0 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 0 votes )   [?]
thank u!i got it in sum fwd mail
Catalogs Discussion Forums -> Non IIT Institutes -> bitsat -> Go to message
This Post 0 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 0 votes )   [?]
ash_rep90@yahoo.co.in
Community shelf Community shelf -> First Night of Marriage With An Educated Girl.... -> Go to message
This Post 14 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 4 votes )   [?]
First night of the marriage
  
 
The Groom approaches the Bride and proposes to Kiss her. So Let us see what would be her reaction...


GIRL FROM DEPT OF PHYSICS:


Well kissing is relative. You can kiss me with Respect to me Or with respect to you. First define how you Are going to Kiss.You can kiss me by treating me in the Same reference frame as You are or treating me in a different inertial Frame by producing Waves of motion through your lips. How do you Prefer?

The guy faints

GIRL FROM DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:


Kissing is fine. You can kiss me provided you Satisfy the Following conditions :
Necessary conditions: You should be close to Me by a distance Delta where delta is greater than zerO and the Limit for delta Tends to zero and you satisfy the closure Property. Sufficient conditions: You should have lips. Where the number Of lips is neither more than two nor less than Two. You can Also kiss by defining your hand to be me if And only if you satisfy The above conditions.

The guy goes mad.


GIRL FROM Computer Science:


You want to kiss me. That is fine I assume that you know the Algorithm for that very well. But you have to Complete the Process within 56.22 seconds or else Connection will be timed Out. To optimize the timing lets do parallel Processing. As we have to Discuss about our future and other things, let
Us do the process of Discussion foreground and why can't you put The process of Kissing Background?


The guy applies for divorce.


GIRL from Electronics Engineering:

So you would like to kiss me. The process of Kissing is an age Old communication process. The information Content of the &nbs p; Signal transmitted from one pair of lips toThe other is more if the Probability of the event (of kissing) is less. Hence take Care. If you want a successful communication
Between us,You should kiss me less often. If the Information content is to be Infinite, you should never kiss me at all!


The guy is found hanging from fan next day.

So my friends get ready if you are going to marry an educated girl !!!!


Community shelf Community shelf -> (Fantastic)The Obelisk !!! -> Go to message
This Post 7 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 2 votes )   [?]

check it out!WOW!

Catalogs Discussion Forums -> Non IIT Institutes -> Cry here if you have not done aieee upto your potential -> Go to message
This Post 0 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 0 votes )   [?]
Community shelf Community shelf -> interview rejects!!!!!!!!! -> Go to message
This Post 12 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 3 votes )   [?]
Story I
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company
don't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of
u.


Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This
personal issue.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?
E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!


Story III
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Not quite.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?
E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My
company is dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.


Story IV
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: yes
E: Is she your first lover?
C: Yes.
E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.

Story V
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: No. Have a few already.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshopper"!
(Job hoper lah!)


Story VI
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich?
C: No.
E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is
dealing with money and you will seduce.

Story VII
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich ?
C: Yes, very rich.He owns a company.
E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want
to employ you, neither do we!
C: But,...... there is no position in his company.
E: Then,..... what is your qualification?
C: Secretary!
E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness Will
affect your managers' working spirits.
C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.
E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!
 
Community shelf Community shelf -> Female S/W Engineer characteristics -> Go to message
This Post 7 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 2 votes )   [?]
THIS IS CHARACTER TYPES OF AN EXCELLENT NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE
TRY TO GO THROUGH WITH OUT FAIL.



class Indian_Bachelor_female_professional
{
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
void knowledge();
char non_co_operative;
};



class Married_female_Software_Professional
{
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossips;
float hopes;
void work();
char unstable;
};

class Female_Engaged_software_professional
{
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding();
char edgy;
};


class Indian_Newly_Married_software_professional
{
double dinner_invitations;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_breaks;
float talks;
void bank_balance();
char hen_pecked;
};



class Indian_husband_wife_software_professional
{
double income;
short temper;
long time_no_see;
float new_software_company;
void love_life();
char money_minded;
};
Community shelf Community shelf -> good joke -> Go to message
This Post 7 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 2 votes )   [?]
A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.


 
The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?'
'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.
 
Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.' Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, lefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
 
 
A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?'
'Sand,' says the Sardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike.

 
This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, the Sardarji, doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' (Highway Restaurant) in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi (Curd) and says, 'Bikes'
 

Community shelf Community shelf -> how i wrote my exam -> Go to message
This Post 25 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 5 votes )   [?]

School days --fun --check this out
It's back again..... even if you've already read this famous fwd, it's worth
reading once more......
DO NOT MISS A SINGLE LINE ......and  the  last
one is fantastic

Community shelf Community shelf -> mission impossible -> Go to message
This Post 15 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 3 votes )   [?]

check out!

Community shelf Community shelf -> The View from Everest-scroll horizontally -> Go to message
This Post 0 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 0 votes )   [?]

its kool!

Community shelf Community shelf -> TOONS-enjoy -> Go to message
This Post 5 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 1 votes )   [?]

funny toons

Community shelf Community shelf -> isnt it funny? -> Go to message
This Post 5 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 1 votes )   [?]

isnt it funny?

Community shelf Community shelf -> HR=HIGH RISK -> Go to message
This Post 5 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 1 votes )   [?]
HR=HIGH RISK
 
 
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not
been  promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and
that the  Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to
walk up to his  HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings,
he
told his HR Manager his  observation.The boss looked at him, laughed
and asked him to sit down saying; Myfriend, you have not worked here
for
 
even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to
explain.
 
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how
many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove
that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have
remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir.  I did not realise that I was stealing
Company money all these days.
 
 
 
Moral
 
NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!! 
Community shelf Community shelf -> CHECK MEANING OF UR NAME...JUST 4 FUN -> Go to message
This Post 0 points    (Olaaa!! Perrrfect answer.   in 0 votes )   [?]
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
I You are always smiling and making others smile.
S You are very broad-minded
H You are not judgmental.
W You like your privacy
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
R You are a social butterfly.
Y You cause a lot of trouble.
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
 
 
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