this query is for PATHFINDER sir (and others too who can help me )
sir i am a student of class 12 enrolled in fiitjee regular classroom program for the past two years.Off late i have started to realise that i have never been able to perform to my highest level during my jee preparations.though iam in the regular classroom batch -1 (for the past two years ) and am coached by the best teachers of fiitjee , i somehow feel that i lack confidence. I have never been on the toppers list any time and neither do my teachers think that i will be able to do any big on the jee day.But considering my background - i am a NTSE scholarship holder , have also won the JSTS scholarship , an also qualified for the KVPY interview apart from my usual success at the interschool science competetions and the national science olympiad. But for the past two years this joy of studying and success (apart from KVPY ) has eluded me . I feel that i lacksomething in me -after all i am not being what i am and what i am capable of being . I think that all this superficial hype of IIT ...IIT ...IIT has kept me down-i have never been able to enjoy work. I am feeling thati am at some loss. Whenever i have looked upon my teachers they have helped me but i feel that this counselling is not what i want - i want somebody to encourage me more to know my own potential which i am beginning to think that i am slowly losing touch with my true self.
and to accompany it all in the recent fiitjee aits conducted i have only scored a percentile of 85 both times and that too mainly because of chemistry with me not getting decent marks in maths and physics . as a result my morale has completely gone down . i am trying to stay away from all this mental "illness" but it doesnt help as a rewsult of which i am not able to focus myself which has been a persistent reason for my mediocrity for the past 2 years and now when evrything seems so close i am going into some sort of a dipression of not being able to perform and this is accompanied by my parents high expectations for me which are not wrong in any way but they want results and quickly - they have notbeen able to understand my problem and have always tried to compare me with others who are performing better than me in both school and coaching.
This has left me completely blank in my mind and i try to spendmy time mostly sleeping or talking or listening to music and am able to devote very less time usually about 5-6 hours and that too not very effective on the day of a holiday.
i discussed this problem with my cousin who is a iit-delhi passout but he has always said that i should study for jee hard but my problem is that studying for an exam was never an inviting prospect for me weter it was NTSE or anything else . i just liked to work. and now time is so near that i am feeling complete lack of motivation , self-satisfaction and am in a state of utter confusion.
i try to make a plan for myself but fail every time to execute it efficiently.
sir , i dont want to dissapoint anybody not even myself . but with only 4 months to go and the pressure of cbse on my head i feel myself caught .
please sir . please help me in conquering this mental trauma and kindly advice me how to go about my work for the last few months which includes the study material to be used and time management and still achieve that mental satisfaction which has lured me for so much time . my teachers say that i will be able to crack jee with a rank in the1000-2000 bracket which as suc is ok but is never enouh to my true potential.
PATHFINDER sir or anybody please help me knowing my true potential - i dont want to lose .
i will always remain grateful to you for the rest of my life.