see the bed was nicely made and everything was

 

neat and tidy. Then he saw

an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of

 

 the pillow. It was

addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he

 

opened the envelope and

read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing

 

you, but I'm

 
leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend

 

 Randy because I wanted to

avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding

 

 real passion with

Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet

 

 him you'll like him

 
too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and

 

 motorcycle clothes. But

it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and

 

 Randy said that he wants

 
me to have the kid and that we can be very happy

 

 together. Even though

 
Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so

 

 old these days is

it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of

our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a

 

 trailer in the woods

and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

 

 It's true he has

other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful

 

to me in his own

way. He wants to have many more children with me

 

and that's now one of my

dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt

 

anyone and he'll be

growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends

 

 for all the

cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll

 

pray that science will

find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he

 

sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know

 

 how to take care of

myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so

 

you can get to know

your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".

 

Hands still

trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the

 

neighbour's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse

 

things in life than my

report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please

 

sign it and call