Be careful what you wish for!

Two happily married 60 year olds were on vacation when they came across a magic lamp. They rubbed it three times and a jeanie came out. The jeanie was willing to grant each person a single wish. The wife wished to travel around the world. Then "poof" a bunch of airline tickets showed up in her hands. The man thought about what he wanted to wish for.

He said to the jeanie,"I wish my wife was thirty years younger than me." Then "poof" he turned into a 90 year old man.

What's the moral of the story?
-Be careful what you wish for.




Kidnapping

There was a sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to a playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground". Undersigned: "A sardarji".

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning he checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying, "How can a sardarji do this to a fellow sardarji? Take the money, and please leave my son." Undersigned: "Another sardarji".




James Bond vs Hyderabad guy

James Bond Style : The character James Bond has a peculiar style of introducing himself by saying first Bond, then followed by great smile & finally James Bond.

His style is absolutely killing but he doesn't know the consequences when he meets our great south indian guy.

When Bond meets a Hyderabad guy

James Bond : "My name's Bond...(smiles and then says).... James Bond."

James Bond: "And you?"

Telugu Guy : "I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai... Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai....Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai..... Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai....

James Bond faints!!!





Banta's Hello Tune

Santa:I tried calling you up so many times. I always got a message saying, ?Switched off?.
Banta: Nahi Pape that?s my ?Hello Tune?.

Ek baar ek train chalte-chalte achanak kheton mein ghus gayi... Sub upar niche ho gaya... sare log idhar dar gaye... Koi idhar gira koi udhar gira... Subko laga pata nahin ab kya hoga... magar thodi der mein train wapas patri par aa gayi aur thodi der mein ruk gayi. Logon ne socha driver se jaakar poochhte hain kya hua tha... Jaakar dekha to driver ek sardar tha... Jub usse poocha ki gaadi achanak kheton mein kaise ghus gayi to papaji bole, "O ji kuchh nahin, ik banda haath khade karke patri vich khada si... ?logon ka dimag kharab ho gaya... Ek bola "Aur tune ek aad mi ko bachane ke liye itne saare logon ki jaan khatre mein daal di... Kuchal dena tha saale ko... "
Sardarji bole... "Main te wohi kar rea si... par wo banda khetan wich ghus gaya."


It was Santa's wedding anniversary.
Preeto: Shall we have butter chicken to celebrate?
Santa: Why punish the poor chicken for the mistake we have made!

Santa proposed a girl. The girl said,"I am one year elder to you". Santa replied: Never mind. I?ll marry you after one year.

Santa visited Mysore Palace. The tourist guide said,"Sir, please don?t sit there. That is Tipu Sultan?s chair".Santa: Don?t worry. I?ll get up when he comes.

Ek din ek ?daku? Santa ke ghar mein ghus gaya aur usse poocha,"Sona kahan hai?".
Santa: Poora ghar khali hai, jithe marzi so jao.





Santa Singh goes to an electronics shop to buy a TV.

Do you have color TVs?
Sure.
Give me a green one, please.

Sardarji calls Air India.

How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?
Just a sec, comes an answer.
Thank you says the Sardarji and hangs up!

The Race

A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing The bystander A Marathon race is going on.
Sardar : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!

Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."




 The act of unlocking

A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, They were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it.
He went to the service department and found a mechanic, Mr Santa working feverishly to unlock the driver`s side door.
As the customer watched from the passenger`s side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open.
"Hey," he announced to the technician, "It`s open!"
"I know," answered Santa.- "I already got that side."



Hightech sardar inventions


Four hightech sardar inventions:
-Waterproof towel
-Solar powered torch
-Book on how to read
-Pedal powered wheel chair.

Ek dost ne sardar se poocha "Yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyun
dekhta rehta hai?"
Sardar : "Yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."

Why did sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
To avoid side effects!

Sardar ke bagiche mein bahut ped the. Sardar ne naukar se bola pedon
ko pani dal.
Naukar bola "Sahib barish ho rahi hai"
Sardar : Buddhu chatri pakdke dal na".

Man: Sardarji where were u born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body was born in punjab".

Ek teacher ne sardar se puchha
"Akal badhi ya bhais ?"
Sardar bola "Sir pehle date of birth to batao".

Why was sardarji writing the exam near the door?
Because it was an entrance exam.

Banta's son: Dad there is some one on the door to collect donations for a
swimming pool.
Banta: Give him a glass of water.

Santa: I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical college.
Banta: Really? What is he studying?
Santa: He is not studying. They are studying him.



source:indiatimes.com