The next morning, first up was the Marathi. "Here's your question," said the President, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" Without hesitation, he replied "A thought, because it takes no time at all." "Very good answer," said the President.

Next up was the Gujrati, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president. "A blink," replied the Gujju almost instantaneously, "cos you don't think about a blink. It's a reflex." "Good answer," replied the president.

Next was the Bengali, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president. The Bengali thought for a moment, "Electricity, because you can flip a switch and 20 miles away a light will go on immediately." "That's a great answer," replied the president.

Finally, it was our Santa's turn. "What`s the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president. Scratching his head Santa replied: "Diarrhoea, because last night after dinner I was lying on my bed when I got these awful stomach pains and before I could think, blink or turn on the light....."

While travelling a sardar was carrying a binocular with him.

But he never seemed to use it while looking outside the window.

A co-passenger who was travelling with him asked why he was carrying binoculars.

The sardar simply said ...
"I am on my way to see a distant relative."

 

Once, two Sardars were feeling bored and decided to play a few games

of chess to pass the time.

They were doing this for some time, when two more sardar friends

dropped by. Seeing them play chess, they said -

"Come on guys, we are feeling bored too. Let us play doubles!"

 

Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station. He asks one man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here"?Man Replies 12.30. "When will Punjab Express go from here"?Man Replies 10.30. "When will Deccan Queen go from here"?Man Replies 12.30. Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.Sardar replies, "NO. I only want to cross the tracks!"

Once a Sardarji went to the city of Mumbai for the first time to meet his father. His father had asked him to keep walking in the direction of the sunrise until he eventually reached hishouse. Since, the Sardarji was new to the city he decided to ask a passerby the direction in which the sun rose in Mumbai - east, west, north or south?The passerby who was also a Sardarji thought for some time and then said, "Main bhi is sheher mein naya aaya hoon!" ( I am also new in this city!)

 

Once a Sardarji went to the city of Mumbai for the first time
to meet his father. His father had asked him to keep walking
in the direction of the sunrise until he eventually reached his
house.
Since, the Sardarji was new to the city he decided to ask a
passerby the direction in which the sun rose in Mumbai - east, west,
north or south?
The passerby who was also a Sardarji thought for some time
and then said, "Main bhi is sheher mein naya aaya hoon!"
( I am also new in this city!)

Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from
Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there
in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and
called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in
the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on
the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki
hoya?" (What Happened, My Son?)

    The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said,
"Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate
hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy!
They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)