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1) A frog went to visit a fortune teller. "What do you see in my future?" asked the frog.

"Very soon," replied the fortune teller. "you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you."

"That's great!" said the frog, hopping up and down excitedly. "But when will I meet her?"

"Next week in science class." said the fortune teller.

2) A chicken and an egg

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!"

3) Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control.

4) An ion walks into a bar looking really depressed, the barman asks why he looks so sad and the ion says he has lost an electron, the barman asks is he sure and the ion replies I am positive!

5) A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks: Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?

6) A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: " How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and says: "For you, it's no charge".

7) From a T-shirt on Thinkgeek.com
There are 10 types of people in this world. those that understand binary and those that don't

8) Gary Larson once did a "Glass-half-full" joke.

The 4 types of people:
:D : "The glass is half full!"
:( : "The glass is half empty."
:? : "Half full.. um, half empty...ummm...I'm sorry, could you repeat the question?"
:x : "Hey! I ordered a cheeseburger!"

9) A scientist is experimenting on a frog. He says to the frog, "jump frog," and the frog jumps. So he writes in his note pad: frog jumps on command. Then he takes a scalpel and cuts one of the frog's front legs off, and once again says to the frog, "Jump frog," and the frog jumps. So he writes in his note pad: when left front leg is removed, frog jumps on command. He takes the scalpel and cuts the other front leg off, and says to the frog, "Jump frog," and the frog still jumps, so he writes in his note pad: when right front leg is removed, frog jumps on command. He then takes the scalpel and cuts off one of the frog's hind legs, and says to the frog, "jump frog," and though a little wobbley, the frog jumps on command. So he writes in his note pad: when right rear leg is removed, frog jumps on command. He then takes his scalpel and cuts off the last leg of the frog, and says, "Jump frog." The frog doesn't jump. The scientist lowers his head closer to the frog and yells, "Jump frog, jump" But the frog doesn't jump. So the scientist writes in his note pad: when left rear leg is removed, frog cannot hear.

10) It's an atom's birthday party and he has just had cake. Atom: "Man, am I excited!"

11) Q:-What is The Dopeler effect ?
A:-It?s the effect of stupid ideas sounding more reasonable the faster they come at you

12) A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.

First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house. The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.". The Biologists conclusion: "They have reproduced". The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again."

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